HOW TO CONTROL ANGER |
Question – I have tried to control my anger several times. But even after many efforts it occurs, though I want to avoid it. In the office and even in the social circle I lose my temper which affects relationships there. I realize my mistakes later but that becomes too late. Is there any method to control anger?
Answer- There is certainly a method to control anger. Knowing anger is the way forward to control it. The purpose of anger is to make humans aware of their emotions. Therefore do not be angry rather know it in reality. Being angry leads to destruction while knowing anger leads to liberation from anger.
Anger means energy- this has to be understood that all kinds of emotions which arise in minds are forms of energy. Anger, greed, attachment, consciousness and sadness are forms of energy. Moreover, everything in the universe is a form of energy. Positive emotions generate positive energy while negative emotions generate negative energy. When anger occurs, what happens actually? A specific part of our brain gets excited which causes some secretions in our body. This leads to a flow of energy in the whole body. This energy searches for the way to be expressed. Then our ears become hot. The heart starts beating faster. Sweating starts taking place. Eyes become red. These outer changes on our body mean the extra energy generated in your body-mind. This energy sometimes gets expressed by shouting at others, breaking things or fighting with someone. But in the end, it creates the feeling of lack and crime in the minds of people and they lose self-confidence. Why does this happen? Because people express their anger but do not know how to control it
Follow these steps practically:
v First of all, watch your anger with detachment. Do not react to it in haste. Firstly know the effects of anger on your body in a detached way. Detachment means watching the thoughts in the mind and vibrations on the body as it is. Increased heartbeat, shivering hands, difficulty in breathing etc. should be experienced as it is. At that time mind whispers - I will teach this person a lesson which he can't forget in his lifetime….how dare he say that.... these kinds of people can't change...…but watch these thoughts in a detached way. Here watching means experiencing with awareness and understanding.
v Now at the second step you have to give direction to your thoughts. Energy has one rule, it can neither be created nor destroyed, it can only be transformed. For example, whenever anger occurs, leave that place and get engaged in some work where you can use this energy in a better way. You can start cleaning your house, read something, watch some useful videos on youtube or listen to soothing music so that mind can be diverted from anger to creativity. By doing this you can convert negative energy into positive energy. This is called the transformation of energy.
References:
Lectures by Acharya SN Goenka on youtube
Books and lectures by Tej Gyan Foundation
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